Not Fair
by Zombie Brains
Summary: Teddy Remus Lupin grew up not knowing his mother and father and realizes he never will. But prehaps comfort and love is closer than he had realized. DH spoilers.


Yuki here. And you thought I'd died. XD So I've read the book and, understandably, I'm upset. DH spoilers, but really… who reads fanfics before reading the real book?

This is my way of saying RIP Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks.

I own nothing, except the name Binky. I haven't decided if this is a one-shot or if I'm going to make more chapters for it, but for now, enjoy.

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**Not Fair**

**Age 5**

Teddy Remus Lupin tossed and turned in his bed, his tiny frame trembling. Lightning tore across the blackened sky, followed by bellowing thunder that shook his bed and rattled his side table. He flinched and pulled his quilt over his thin face. _His father's face, _his godfather said. He squinted in the self-imposed darkness, the design of Snitches and dragon weaving around on his blanket. He blinked his eyes slowly. _His mother's eyes,_ his godfather said. Teddy frowned and winced as another crack of thunder roared through the sky.

He wished he were with his godfather now. But his own politeness and his godfather's hard day's rest separated him. He thought of toppling out of bed, tiptoeing across the hall, and simply crawling into Uncle Harry and Auntie Ginny's bed with them. He was five, after all; he could still get away with it. And it wasn't as though Uncle Harry and Auntie Ginny would deny him. Uncle Harry and Auntie Ginny gave Teddy anything his heart desired, did anything for him… they loved Teddy.

He threw the quilt from his face and sat up in bed, staring at his own face in the mirror across his room. His hair was bright turquoise, but his eyes were a dull gray with fear. His brand new pajamas were slightly too large for him, the sleeves slipping over his hands, the legs draping themselves over his toes. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, his toes grazing the chilly wood floors. His room was scattered with toys and games; Auntie Ginny seemed determined to buy Teddy anything he wanted. His toy broom was propped up in a corner, a gift from his Uncle Ron.

His eyes fell on two pictures on his side table. One had a woman with bright, bubblegum pink hair, a pale heart-shaped face, laughing with a baby in her arms. Teddy didn't think it was a baby so much as it was larvae with purple hair, but he knew it was he as a baby. A man with graying amber, straggly hair, a tired, lined face and a broad smile had his arms wrapped the woman's shoulders kissing her on the cheek. Teddy felt a lump in his throat as he always did when he looked at this picture. Remus and Tonks, Harry called them. But they were really Mummy and Dad. No. They were really… dead.

The other picture was of his fifth birthday party, Teddy in front of a birthday cake, on Harry's lap, Ginny wrapped around his shoulders. His Gran Andromeda and Mrs. Molly were placing candles on his extravagant cake, which they had made. Behind them were his Uncles Ron, Nevile, George, Bill, Kingsley, Mister Arthur, and Percy and behind _them _were his Aunties Hermione, Luna, Fleur, and Minerva and behind _them _was Uncle Hagrid. Or more like his shoulder, as he couldn't fit in the picture. For some reason, this picture made his throat close up even more and he dragged his gaze away.

As Teddy gazed around his room another crack of thunder crashed through house, particularly violent, and he heard something break in Harry and Ginny's room. He then heard his uncle swearing loudly and groggily. Seeing his chance, the boy put his feet flat on the ground and pulled his favorite stuffed animal, a midnight blue wolf from his bed and cuddled it close to his chest.

"C'mon Binky," he whispered to the wolf. He stumbled across his messy room, knowing that tomorrow Auntie Ginny would probably scold him for letting it get that bad. Opening his door, his Uncle Harry's annoyance seemed to have dissolved slightly as his Auntie Ginny's voice called out "_Reparo."_

He crossed the hall silently and pushed open his godfather's door, with a slight creak to hear Harry's tired voice. "I have to wake up in two hours," he moaned. There was the noise of a slight thud as Harry flopped back into bed, then silence…

"Teddy?" The boy jumped slightly but then poked his head into view. His godfather was propped up on his elbow, staring at him gently. "Did the storm wake you up?" Teddy nodded but said nothing. Ginny sat up, her mane of red hair a disheveled mess.

"Come and sleep with us then, Teddy Bear," said Ginny, smiling at him. He nodded again, this time enthusiastically, and climbed up on their bed, wedging himself in between Ginny and Harry and accidentally smacking Harry in the nose with Binky. Looking up at his godfather apologetically, Teddy pulled Binky down, and was swept into his godfather's warm embrace.

"Sleep tight, Teddy Bear," whispered Harry kindly. He closed his eyes.

"Uncle Harry?" murmured Teddy, looking down at Binky, without really seeing it.

"Hmm?"

"What were my parents like?"

Harry's eyes opened slowly and he stared at Teddy, his face frowning, but otherwise unreadable. "What?"

"My parents. What were they like?"

He looked and saw that Ginny was staring at him too. She was not as good as keeping her face blank like her fiancé. She looked stricken, as though she had not seen this curiosity coming. Teddy almost wished he hadn't asked, the look on her face was painful, as though it hurt her to think of his parents. But he wanted to know. Harry reached over and clicked on the lamp near his bed and then sat up, his face still blank. He glanced at Ginny and then to Teddy.

"What would you like to know?" asked Harry finally. And suddenly Teddy's mind was flooded with questions.

"Was Dad really a werewolf? Who did I get the ability to change my hair and eyes from? What was Dad like? What was Mum like? Was Mum really an Auror like you? What did my dad do? What house was Dad in when he was at school? And Mum? What house was she in?" To his surprise, Harry chuckled and even Ginny gave a weak smile. Harry hugged Teddy close to his chest.

"Yes, Remus _was _a werewolf but – let me finish!" -- Teddy had gasped – "but he was very careful about it. He never hurt anyone, he made perfectly sure of that—"

"He was one of the kindest, gentlest, warmest men I'd ever met in my entire life," Ginny said firmly. And, because of the look on Ginny's face, Teddy, though he had could not remember his father, believed her. Ginny suddenly smiled. "Remember how Neville put Snape in a dress in his very first lesson with Remus?" Harry laughed out loud.

"I'd forgotten the boggart, yes," Harry answered. "That was an entertaining lesson."

"He taught lessons then? My dad was a teacher?" asked Teddy anxiously, not knowing who or what a Snape was, but quickly pushing it from his mind.

"For a little while," said Harry, his smile wilting slightly. "He resigned after his first year." Teddy saw that Harry looked expectantly at him, as though expecting Teddy to ask why. However, Teddy assumed it was something to with his father's being a werewolf.

"And it was your mum who was a Metamorphmagus," said Ginny, running her fingers through Teddy's vivid turquoise locks. "Her favorite hair color was pink." Her gaze rested on Teddy's hair, with a slightly distant look on her face. "And she _was _an Auror like Harry, surprisingly enough."

"Why surprisingly?" asked Teddy, slightly alarmed.

"Well," said Harry slowly. "You know how you have difficulty walking across a flat, stable path without finding something to trip on?" He smiled as Teddy grimaced and nodded. "Imagine that on a full grown witch and times about fifty." They were silent for a little bit as Teddy absorbed this little bit of information. Mum was as clumsy as he was, was she? And he felt a felt, suddenly, a little closer to the woman. He glanced up at Ginny, who plowed on with Teddy's questions.

"Remus was in Gryffindor house," said Ginny, swelling slightly, with what Teddy assumed to be pride. "When he was at Hogwarts."

"And Tonks was in Hufflepuff," said Harry softly, "when she went to Hogwarts."

Teddy wanted to ask Harry and Ginny more, wanted to know everything he could about Remus and Tonks, but he felt an aching throb in his heart. The way Ginny and Harry talked about them, they had been truly good people. And he would never get to know. He would never get to know if his mum was as clumsy as Harry said, or if his dad was as kind as Ginny said. He would never get to know his parents the way Harry and Ginny did. And the thought made his heart ache.

A sudden rush of anger flowed through him. It wasn't fair! Not fair at all that Harry got to learn so much from Teddy's father, when Teddy himself, would never. Not fair that Ginny got to have conversations with Teddy's mother and Teddy would not. Who were they to Remus and Nymphadora? No one! They did not deserve to know them when he, Teddy, never would. He was Teddy Remus Lupin, he was their son, and he would never know them the way these two strangers did. _It wasn't fair. _He would never get to meet them, never get to know their love, never get to be tucked into bed by his mother, never get to be read to by his father, never… _never… _

_IT WASN'T FAIR._

And suddenly, the rage and disappointment drained away from him, replaced by an odd empty feeling. His mind went blank for a moment. Teddy Remus Lupin.

When he thought about it, he was only named for dead family that he would never know. Teddy was the name of his grandfather, Andromeda had said, who had died shortly before the Battle of Hogwarts. His middle name… Remus was, of course, the name of the father that had been struck down at the Battle of Hogwarts.

He became aware of the presence of the other two people on the bed with him. He peered up at his beloved godfather and saw that Harry had never looked away from him, watching him carefully, silently. The man's face was tired and prematurely lined, his long black hair framing his face, his vivid emerald eyes staring lovingly down at the boy, and Teddy instantly felt a swooping sensation of guilt and sickness that he, Teddy, had been thinking bad, angry thoughts about this man only a few seconds ago.

Hadn't Harry been the one to take Teddy in, when he was only seventeen, to save Andromeda the strain of taking in an infant after just losing her husband and daughter? Wasn't Harry the one who had abandoned any hopes of claiming what little time of adolescence left after the Dark Lord had been destroyed, quickly going into Auror training and then gaining a job at the Ministry of Magic to pay for Teddy's needs? Wasn't it he, along with Auntie Ginny, that had raised him? Teddy distinctly remembered being violently ill with both Harry and Ginny at his bedside, taking care of him, never once leaving his side.

He glanced at Ginny again, her gentle, motherly face topped with fiery red hair, her chocolaty brown eyes turned down on him like Harry's, warm and adoring. It was Ginny who bought him all the toys he wanted, made any dish he wanted, cleaned up after him, and played with him when Harry was at work. Ginny even took her to work with her at St. Mungo's whenever he asked. The familiar feeling of remorse and nausea gripped his stomach and heart once more.

These two people loved him. And he was jealous of them. He had even called them strangers.

He snuggled closer to Harry, who smiled. Teddy became aware of the tears on his cheeks, but he looked at Ginny's glistening cheeks and Harry's shining eyes and was not self-conscious.

"They sound like wonderful people," Teddy whispered into Harry's chest. He felt Harry's hand on top of his head and felt the vibrations of Harry's voice through his chest.

"They were."

"I love you, Uncle Harry," murmured Teddy through a haze of tears and tiredness.

"And I love you, too, Teddy. More than you will ever know."

"And I love you, Auntie Ginny," yawned Teddy, his eyelids drooping.

"I love you, too my little Teddy Bear," replied Ginny's voice.

And Teddy fell asleep there with his godfather and Ginny.

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The end. Rest in peace Remus and Nymphadora. 


End file.
